it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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