I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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