If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
