Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Terrible idea I love it
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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