No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize