last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
