I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
