I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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