You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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