a queef is a wish your heart makes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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