so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
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Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor