That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.