It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there was a trapeze. enough said
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?