he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS