I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
