like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
