Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
