she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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