Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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