so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
