I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I came so hard my ears popped.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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