finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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