i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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