The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
