a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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