It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
