He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
