are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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