Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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