Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
