i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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