I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize