Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You were trust falling into bushes
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
