Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
