Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
my poor anus
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
