but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
