And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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