hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
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i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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