So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
