I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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