I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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