I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
