sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
