I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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