I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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