Your tits are I can't wait for
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
