I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
