I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
