good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize