wrigley field is MILF paradise
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
