i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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