glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
