What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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