he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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