they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
