all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
